Obscured

Happy November Readers!

Thank you for visiting my page once more, I really love writing and it’s wild that some people out there actually want to read it 💕

I’m currently moving up on the life ladder, I got a better job which I’ll be starting soon. I’ve been successfully filtering my emotions through God before I share them with humans, not perfectly, but way better than before. I’m settling into not knowing at all what’s happening, God knows what He’s doing, I don’t. So yeah, that’s my life currently in a nutshell.

Things have been happening in and around my life that have caused me to ponder about timing and what to make of it. Like, why isn’t it time yet for this life event? Or why did a person appear in a specific season of hardship or good fortune?  Why didn’t something happen earlier or later? And to be honest I haven’t found any answers, I’m just rambling in this post.

I may leave some of you reading with a feeling of ambiguity by the end of this post. I will gladly apologise in advance for that. But, I believe something we all have to face at some point is that certain happenings may never make sense. It’s an uncomfortable truth because we’ve been conditioned to believe peace is synonymous with clarity.

To no one’s surprise I’ve been reading through the book of Job lately…

aha

I don’t think this book gets any easier to read over time, I always have more questions at the end than the last time I read it. A glaring theme this time around is, at times life makes no sense and you may never know why.

As far as I can tell, Job was never given insight on why things turned out the way they did for him even though he was righteous in God’s eyes. It’s difficult because we want there to be a nice, full circle resolution at the end, but it doesn’t happen in a way we would expect. We tend to use phrases like:

“Hindsight is 20/20.”

“It’ll make sense in due time.”

“Time heals all wounds.”

These sayings are true and helpful sometimes, but can also be weak bandaids when placed over nonsensical heartbreak and deep trials. One of the hardest pills to swallow is that God is within His rights to not give us complete understanding. Only with humility can one accept this fact. Until then, it’s easy to succumb to anger, frustration, and sorrow as we wrestle to unravel what is meant to remain bound.

Personally, I’ve found that the most I can do for myself and those around me who are dealing with confusing suffering is to talk with God as vulnerably as possible. Expressing to Him that I want to understand, but also pleading to be content with not understanding. Praying fervently for those who are on their last strand of faith, or only at the beginning, and don’t know how to process what’s going on in their lives. This is not an easy feat.

It’s interesting (also spoiler alert), at the end of the book of Job, he gains a deeper knowledge of God. He of course is blessed once more with an abundance of possessions, health and a huge family, but before all of that, it’s just a greater understanding of God.

Is a richer relationship with God worth sacrificing the answers to your deepest questions?

I believe this trips everyone up at some point. If it’s not when someone is first seeking God, it definitely pops up later in faith.

“If you could just explain why you let this happen, I’ll believe.”

“If you answer my question, then I’ll obey you.”

We can accept the unknown depths of the sea and the mysteries of space, yet we think a vast, complex God owes us all the answers to our lives’ questions. I deceive myself into thinking that if only I knew why, things would be better and I would love God more. Slowly but surely, God is teaching me how to trust Him with all things, not just the stuff I can wrap my head around.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

-1 Corinthians 1:25

Praying for you all…

 

Moore Awaits ♥️