Texas… It’s Complicated

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Texas.

A state. A state of mind. Basically it’s own country.

There is no place quite like it in the entire United States, but you could say that about any of the 50 states right? Maybe, I don’t know, Texas is pretty out there.

My Texan journey started when I was 6 years old. I remember sobbing when my Mom told me we were leaving Indiana for what I believed was a desert wasteland with cattle and no place to plug in my playstation. I was not pleased. But, it wasn’t my choice, I was but a wee lass at the mercy of my Mother’s bidding.

Throughout childhood I always wanted to be elsewhere, I loved visiting my Dad in the northeast for holidays and summers. Philly, New York, and even the strange land of New Jersey, those places felt more like home. I guess it’s because I was born in the Bronx and that attachment never truly fades.

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I never felt like I belonged in Texas, or the south for that matter, it was just a place I resided in the longest. That deep Texas pride which seems to spread like a virus to the born and raised and transplants alike never reached me. Almost every time I had the chance to leave this place I would, short time or long.

Yet I wouldn’t say I hated Texas. I’ve definitely said it in the past, many many times, but now I have accepted it’s just not my land but it has it’s perks and it has most definitely served a purpose in my life.

There are 3 things I love most about Texas: The Sky, Austin, and The Storms.

🎶 The Prairie Sky is Wide and High… 🎶

Ain’t nothing quite like a broad Texas sky. There have been so many times I just exclaim, “YAAAASSSS” up above because it’s just showin’ out. Lookin’ all gorgeous and stuff, it’s truly a sight to behold. I wanted to post a photo here, but it honestly wouldn’t do it justice, you have to just experience it. (On a non-sweltering day) When I see that big expanse above me I get stilled, I’ve fallen in love with it even more since I’ve been back.

Keep Austin Weird 👽

austin

Austin, Texas is easily in my top ten when it comes to my favorite cities. The coffee shops, the music, the tacos, the vibes, the hills and bodies of water. Ugh! No place in Texas brings me greater joy and makes me feel more myself. It’s a shape-shifting city that becomes whatever I need it to be in the moment. Be it a calm, recharging time or a wacky, adventurous time. I am forever grateful for my cheap getaway road trips to Austin, it’s the best city in Texas in my humble opinion.

Texas Storms 

lightning

This one is two-fold. Of course I am talking about the fear inducing storms that shake houses and dare I say the core of your soul. It’s awe-inspiring to hear, watch, and feel as God’s power is on display. The booming thunder, the multiple strikes of lightning, the sheets of rain. I LOVE IT. As long as I’m inside of my home of course. And it’s not even just the storm itself, it’s also the beautiful, paint-brushed sky that results for the next few days afterwards that fills me with wonder. In my travels so far I have yet to see storms like the ones here in Texas.

But there’s another type of storm I’m referring to when it comes to the Lone Star State. It’s the life storms God uses to build up my character and draw me near to Him. This drives my love/hate relationship with Texas, outside of my pure hatred for it’s hellish summers and lack of effective public transportation.

Since I’ve become a Christian, every time God has returned me to Texas it’s been some set of hardcore challenges waiting for me. Lots of internal struggle, difficulties around me, and I usually end up having to wrestle it out with God over a bunch of things. I feel like He sends me here to gain grit, some true-blue rugged faith that says, “Come what may, I’m in it for the long haul.”

woody

I’ve fought against this fact because I enjoy avoiding hardship, but God keeps pressing on to help me see the necessity of trying times. He uses this tough terrain for my good and He wants me to recognize it. It’s taken a lot of humbling so far, but I’m starting to see the light. Texas is important for my walk. God teaches me so much when I’m here, some of the hardest and most heartbreaking lessons, but I believe these are the lessons that will help me withstand anything later on.

Texas, I don’t love ya, I kinda like ya, but I definitely need ya.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

-James 1:2-4

 

Moore Awaits ♥️

2 thoughts on “Texas… It’s Complicated”

  1. Grit. Isn’t that the essence of being a disciple of Jesus at times? There have been so many rough edges on me that I wonder if my guardian angels fight over (while sipping their coffee vigorously) who has to go ‘watch over me’ today😂😳 You’re right. The lessons you learn here might very well be the part of the ‘narrow path’, the grit, that gets you to heaven. I know it’s true for me:) Great perspective you have!

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