Moving Forward

Pip Pip Da Doodly Doo Y’all!

It seems that each time I write a new blog post it’s right after a whirlwind of things have happened internally, externally, or both. I shall update you in bullet point form because I don’t feel like going into much detail (hit me up if you want the full story):

  • I was offered a job in Brisbane, Australia
  • Took an 11 hour train ride to Sydney
  • Had an interview there
  • Got offered the job within 24 hours of the interview
  • Stressed over where God was leading me
  • Strongly considered buying a plane ticket back to America
  • Declined the Brisbane job
  • A bunch of details suddenly fell into place in Sydney
  • Experienced the 6AM call of the Kookaburras and I was TERRIFIED
  • Learned that hectic is a term Aussies use instead of saying something is crazy e.g. “My hamster morphed into a unicorn yesterday!” “Woah that’s hectic!”
  • EASTERRRRR 🌅
  • Returned to Melbourne
  • Bought my ticket to move to Sydney for April 9th
  • Currently taking in all that’s going on

woah

Woah Nelly

As I’ve been packing up today, I came across the cards that were written to me before I made the big move to Melbourne and it was so encouraging, and at times sad, but also hilarious. Encouraging, because there were best wishes and kind words about the person they believed I would be in Melbourne, yet sad because I feel that I was not that person while I’ve been here (At least once the job search got discouraging). Hilarious, simply because none of the cards entertained the idea that I wouldn’t stay in Melbourne the whole year of my VISA. I didn’t even consider I could end up moving to a different part of Australia during my time here. These last 4 and a half months have been challenging in a myriad of ways and my faith is being stretched like crazy.

In my most recent post I shared about my struggle with self-centredness, which is basically idolatry if we’re gonna call a spade a spade. I find it interesting that as soon as my sin is revealed and the process of humbling and repentance has begun my employment situation gets resolved. As soon as I soberly realised that I don’t deserve to get my way and began accepting that the Australia journey could be over, the tide changed. Once I started filling my empty schedule with more prayer, reading of the Bible, and meditation instead of Netflix, complaining, and self-pity the burdens of life became more bearable than before. That sounds awfully similar to a few scriptures in the Bible doesn’t it? The main one I think of is in 1 Peter 5:6, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” Coincidentally, this was the last scripture I was meditating on right before I started going off the deep end spiritually a couple months ago. Ameeeen walking with God is a process or as others say, “A marathon, not a sprint.”

tired

At the moment I feel like this child passed out on a suitcase and God is rolling me along through this time as He renews my strength. Even in my greatest moments God is still doing the heavy lifting, but as soon as I lost sight of that fact I lost my footing. Multiple friends of mine have pointed out that the way out of idolatry is simply loving God more. To which I responded, HOWHOWHOWHOWHOW, because I am someone who functions on practicals. I like to have clear formulas and a definite beginning and ending to things, which is strange considering I am also highly creative. Since those conversations, I’ve realised my heart’s question wasn’t how, but more accurately how long. How long do I have to read my bible/pray through things/meditate on who God is until I am better? And by better my heart meant perfect. I’m cool with everyone else being imperfect, but I cannot stand it within myself. Yet, God expects it and accepts it. In addition to that, He is still willing to bless me with wonderful things in the meantime as He’s making me more similar to Him.

During the Easter service I attended in Sydney, a sermon point that seriously hit home for me was: “Jesus’ wounds bring you closer to God and so do yours. Where would you be if you got everything you wanted out of this life on Earth? Not here worshipping God. Your scars are what opened your heart to the Gospel.” Not an exact quote, but that was the gist of it and it’s so true. As I finally got the long time dream of living abroad, my heart began to drift off to created things instead of the one who created it all. But instead of plucking me out of Australia after revealing my waywardness, God has allowed me stay and is willing to continue working on me. I expected God to be more like, “Oh, she can’t handle following me and having great things on Earth, guess I gotta snatch away everything from her!” But no, He’s a God of restoration, grace and transformation.

relieved

So now, I will enjoy my last week of living in artsy Melbourne and finally go to the Science Museum that I’ve been itching to go to. I will continue to persevere in the challenge to love God more than anything or anyone else, while being patient with myself. And I will strive to be filled with gratitude for all God has done, whether it was my preference or not. Will this be easy? NAW. But it will be worth it and I am not alone.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” – Hebrews 12:1-3

See ya soon Sydney!

sydney

 

Moore Awaits ♥️

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